Thursday, September 15, 2016

Parenting Style: Survive

While my kid sits next to me gnawing on an organic baby cracker that tastes like paper, I started thinking about the hot-button parenting topics I see on the Internet every day. As a first-time mom of a now 9-month-old nugget, I decided to share my opinion on them... whether or not you care/agree isn't my problem as you're the one who clicked the link to read this, not I. :)

Breast vs. Bottle feeding: Whatever makes those thighs chunky - thick thighs save lives!

Cloth vs Disposable diapers: Whatever keeps the poo contained and out of my hair.

Vaccinations: As long as my kid can still cuddle with smallpox blankets, we're good.

Spanking: Belt or Spoon? Just kidding....aren't we giving kids "choices" these days?

Homeschooling: Let's be honest, no one wants me to teach small humans anything so I'm sending my kid to someone with a degree in education.

Baby wearing: I have a great chiropractor so all options are open.

Co-sleeping: My kid sleeps in the next room because I don't like getting kicked in the face but do what you want!

Working vs. Staying at home: Whatever makes you feel like you run the world.

Crying it out: Turn up the TV it's taco night!!

I guess my entire point if you've missed it already is people should just do what they want and LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE THE FUCK ALONE. Thank you, and good night.