Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Weird Dreams

I tracked my weird pregnancy dreams for awhile. You're welcome.

... The one where I went into early labor and when I showed up at the hospital I had half my baby hanging out of my hot pocket, only to pull it all the way out and find out it's a ferret with no hair that shrivels up in my hands.......????

... The one where my baby climbs out of the front of the stroller and I'm dragging her under it through the mall without noticing.

... The one where lightening is hitting every house on my block in order one by one.

... The one where I cheat on my husband with Patrick Swayze circa the Dirty Dancing era, but then move to Florida to marry a classmate from high school. (This will make the next reunion awkward...)

... The one where I turn into a cartoon character that wants to make out with strangers.

... The one where my baby decides to crawl out by herself and start nursing in the middle of the night, and I don't realize it until I lift up the sheets to see what's going on down there.

...The one where I go through the grocery store and lick all of the fruit roll ups.

...The one where my friend quits speaking to me for showing her how to do laundry.

...The one where I'm a waitress at a restaurant where the drinks are served in water guns that you have to shoot into your mouth.

How far along? 34 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: +12 lbs
Maternity clothes? I'm resisting the urge to buy more and trying to make these last few weeks last!
Stretch marks? No, but the stretching is real.
Sleep: Getting more difficult, especially the sleeping and breathing at the same time part.
Best moment this week: Getting my Christmas cards ready to go, baby themed of course!       
Miss Anything? I used to really love moving around without difficulty.
Movement: Body parts are starting to stick out and it's just creepy!
Food cravings: I'm on a brownie kick at the moment.
Anything making you queasy or sick: No but I have to eat more often in smaller amounts.
Gender: Girl. 
Labor Signs: No.
Symptoms: Getting super exhausted, but it could be the Holiday season at work. Gotta love retail.
Belly Button in or out? Still in, holding on to hope.
Wedding rings on or off? Off! Time to buy a big fakie!
Happy or Moody most of the time: Annoyed with everyone, but again that could be retail during the holidays!
Looking forward to: Last touches on the nursery, it's pretty much done!

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