Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Complaining, While I Still Can

So I decided to compile a list of the things parents do that I think are annoying, and it will probably offend people. But I will probably also do all of these things in the near future, so I really give no shits if you're offended.

1. Changing your baby's poopy diaper in the booth next to mine at a restaurant, OR in the fitting room next to mine in a store. NOT A BATHROOM. TAKE THE POO ELSEWHERE.

2. Letting your baby/kid scream in a place obviously not meant for small children i.e. a fancy restaurant, a rated R movie, adult superstore etc.

3. Bare breastfeeding in public. Okay, there I said it. Now the whole world hates me, other moms won't be my friend and the La Leche League is already on their way to slaughter my first born. Either way, I think it's weird and I don't want to see your fucking nipples.

4. Seeing kids unrestrained in moving vehicles....ok now this is something that really chaps my ass. I don't care who you are or where you are driving.....your kid NOT in a car seat or seat belt is just asking for a traumatic brain injury. Although if they aren't restrained that's probably genetic and now there's nothing you can do about it.

5. Bringing your baby to the bar. Just kidding, that's awesome.

6. Tiny, tiny babies in those cheap umbrella strollers. Poor things look like they are about to roll out onto the floor. I'm all about the 5 point harness and I want my kid to look like they are strapped in for NASCAR race day.

7. Posting 1,000,000 pictures of your kid online that look exactly the same. You think your kid is cute. We get it.

So now that I've listed all my grievances, I should probably confess that these are all the things people complain about with me and my dog. Especially the breastfeeding in public.



Also, tomorrow is my birthday, and all I can really think about is the fact that it is my very last birthday that I will ever have without a child, and I can't even get drunk and cry about it.

How far along? 24 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Gained another pound for +3 total...here we go I guess.
Maternity clothes? Upgraded from leggings to jeans. Still in regular shirts though.
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: Still sleeping ok.
Best moment this week: Putting the stroller together!    
Miss Anything? I bought some sparkling juice so I can put it in a wine glass and roll around on the floor like the good ole days.
Movement: Homegirl is a squirmer especially first thing in the morning, or when "I Can't Feel My Face" is on the radio.
Food cravings: Garden Salsa SunChips
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.
Have you started to show yet: Yep, it's getting pretty obvious at this point.
Gender: Girl. 
Labor Signs: No.
Symptoms: Out of breath easily & headaches every now and then.
Belly Button in or out? In.
Wedding rings on or off? On.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!
Looking forward to: Starting to put the nursery together. (Come on Josh!)

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